Transparency Note: This article was written with the assistance of OpenAI’s ChatGPT and reviewed, edited, and fact-checked by Todd. The events described are real experiences as I remember them. The connections involving seriality, symbolism, consciousness, and the “T Meta-Structure” are my personal interpretations.
This has been one hell of a week.
The more I try to understand what is happening with my consciousness, the more I keep coming back to Paul Kammerer, the Austrian biologist who developed what he called the Law of Seriality—the idea that coincidences sometimes seem to arrive in clusters rather than as isolated events.
I’ve started realizing that there seem to be two sides operating inside the way I process these experiences.
There is Todd, the empath, who feels other people and situations intensely.
Then there is the part of me that identifies with Paul Kammerer—the part constantly mapping coincidences, names, dates, numbers, words, and events.
This week brought both of those sides together.
August 23 and My Father, Donal
On Sunday, August 23, 2026, I went to church.
Pastor Rick talked about the ninth anniversary of being called into the ministry. I confirmed with him that his calling happened on August 23, 2017.
That immediately caught my attention because my father died the very next day:
August 24, 2017.
My father’s name was Donal Megee — D-O-N-A-L.
That spelling matters later.
During church that Sunday, I also experienced what looked to me like an aura around Pastor Rick—an outline extending beyond his body. I’m describing exactly how I perceived it, not claiming that I can objectively prove what caused it.
Later that same Sunday, I met up with Robin, whom I call “The Shit.”
Robin told me that Nick had visited Dollywood the week before Dolly Parton died.
That immediately registered with the seriality side of my mind:
Nick → Dollywood → Dolly.
It became one of the first coincidences that stood out to me during a week when I was already thinking intensely about death, consciousness, and repetition.
Eli, Rice, and Seriality
Eli—the Nigerian Eli—is important to this story.
Whatever problems exist between us, I don’t think I would understand my own interpretation of seriality as clearly without what happened around Eli.
While I was in rehab in July, another Eli entered the picture: Eli Reece.
The rehab itself was on Reece Bergeron Road.
Then a patient arrived whose last name was Rice.
That hit me particularly hard because when the Nigerian Eli and I originally planned to meet, he was supposed to cook me jollof rice.
One night in rehab, I woke up with what I can only describe as a “holy shit” moment. I felt compelled to eat the leftover rice, almost as though doing so would symbolically consummate thoughts and prayers that I had connected with Eli.
But another patient ate the leftover rice.
Later, the patient whose actual last name was Rice left in an ambulance.
There was another Eli Reece connection involving RANDOM.ORG, which I use because its randomness is generated from atmospheric noise. I asked Eli Reece to run it, and he got 86.
None of this proves that these events were orchestrated. But this is exactly the kind of clustering that made Kammerer’s concept of seriality become more than an abstract historical curiosity to me.
Ironically, those experiences also taught me something else: I can recognize someone’s importance in my life while still recognizing that I may need distance from them.
The Glass of Deception — G.O.D.
Another revelation this week involved screens.
I’ve started calling the television, phone, monitor, or screen the:
Glass of Deception — G.O.D.
Again, that’s my metaphor.
And that’s where three similar-sounding names became fascinating to me:
Paul Kammerer.
Paul Cameron.
Paul Cameron.
Paul Kammerer was the Austrian biologist associated with the Law of Seriality.
One Paul Cameron became a successful cinematographer. His credits include Déjà Vu, Total Recall, and the pilot of Westworld—works that themselves touch, in different ways, on perception, memory, identity, artificial realities, or constructed worlds.
In the language of my metaphor, that Paul Cameron created content that went into the Glass of Deception.
Then there was another Paul Cameron.
He worked as a CCTV operator in England.
In his case, instead of putting images into the glass, his job involved looking through the glass and taking images in.
The Hull Daily Mail reported that this Paul Cameron had received a final written warning over inappropriate CCTV use. The article states that he was reported to Human Resources for allegedly “zooming in unnecessarily on females,” something Cameron vehemently denied.
He died by suicide on December 18, 2020.
December 18 is also my mother’s birthday.
And there is another piece of wordplay that caught my attention:
2020 = 20/20 vision.
A CCTV operator—someone whose job centered around watching—died in 2020.
I am not saying that establishes some supernatural connection. I’m documenting why the coincidence caught my attention inside the framework through which I’ve been studying seriality.
Then there is Kammerer himself.
Paul Kammerer died by suicide in 1926 after allegations of scientific fraud devastated his reputation.
So I found myself staring at this strange reflection between Kammerer and Cameron—two names that sound remarkably similar to my ear, two very different lives, and two suicides following serious damage to their professional standing.
And that’s where the story comes back to me.
AT&T and the T Meta-Structure
I worked for AT&T for 14 years.
AT&T’s stock ticker is:
T.
But when I talk about the T Meta-Structure, I’m not talking only about a stock ticker.
For me, the T is also the shape of the Cross of Jesus Christ.
That became part of the symbolic model I was building in my head: communication, speech, money, AT&T, the letter T, and the Cross overlapping inside one personal framework.
Another concept became wrapped into that model: Citizens United v. FEC.
The Supreme Court did not literally rule that “money equals speech.” The actual legal doctrine is more complicated. But the decision strengthened constitutional protection for independent political spending, and the simplified idea of money as speech became part of how I interpreted the symbolism.
That takes me back to Christmas 2016.
Around that time, my father Donal Megee — D-O-N-A-L — received a 45.8-pound brick of lead.
That strange memory became part of an earlier version of this framework: weight, money, speech, communication, material things, and meaning.
Then comes the spelling of my father’s name.
DONAL.
Add one letter:
D.
And you get:
DONALD.
Donald Trump.
Again, I’m describing the linguistic and symbolic association that registered in my mind—not claiming that changing a letter establishes a physical connection between two people.
But what happened next is why that association stayed with me.
July 11, 2024
On July 11, 2024, I was terminated from AT&T.
That meant I fell out of the company represented on the stock market by T, after spending 14 years there and building this T Meta-Structure in my own thinking.
Donald Trump’s lawyers were also taking legal action that day following the Supreme Court’s July 1 presidential-immunity decision.
That produced another pattern that I’ve described this way:
I fall down where Donald goes up.
That is my interpretation of the coincidence—not a claim that one event caused the other.
But there was a much darker part of that period.
Shortly after losing my job, I attempted suicide.
Police became involved, and during that crisis I was given ketamine. I survived.
That’s where the parallels with Kammerer and Cameron became personally disturbing to me.
Kammerer’s professional reputation collapsed, and he died by suicide.
The CCTV operator Cameron experienced serious trouble surrounding his employment and later died by suicide.
I lost the AT&T career around which I had built so much of my identity and symbolic thinking—and then I attempted suicide.
But I survived.
Because ketamine can profoundly alter perception and consciousness, I came away from that experience with what felt like a timeline-switching experience. I sometimes describe it as though I remained myself but continued along a timeline in which I lived.
I can’t establish that an actual timeline switch occurred. What I can establish is much simpler:
I am still here.
And maybe that’s the most important difference in the entire pattern.
Then I Smoked Weed
That brings me back to this week.
I smoked weed again—only two small puffs.
What followed was enough to remind me why I don’t want it in my life.
My perception changed dramatically. At one point, reality seemed visually to be collapsing or changing structure in front of me. I remained calm, but afterward I interpreted some of what I experienced through my existing framework involving the “machine elves” and Archangel Michael.
Then came a run of bad experiences.
Someone contacted me claiming that Eli had cut his wrists and was in intensive care. There are significant trust issues surrounding Eli and money, so I didn’t know what information I could rely upon.
A man dealing with sex addiction contacted me, supposedly wanting to talk. I came away disappointed because it became clear to me that what he really wanted was sex rather than the deeper relationship or conversation I was looking for.
Then, while Ubering with a passenger named Michael, I encountered an angry driver.
I had stopped for a red light. The other driver apparently didn’t appreciate how quickly I stopped. After I turned, he pulled alongside my vehicle and was clearly angry and behaving aggressively.
That changed the entire vibe for me.
I stopped Ubering.
Then I received another disappointment: I had applied for an IT specialist position with Singing River Health System, and I wasn’t selected.
This was the same health system already connected in my mind to another recent event involving Cara and a morphine injection.
Individually, these things have ordinary explanations.
Together, they felt brutal.
I initially interpreted that cluster as evidence that I had pissed off the machine elves, possibly Archangel Michael, or that something involving the voodoo work I had been told about was catching up with me.
But there is a much more immediate conclusion I can actually act upon:
Weed does not help me.
Whether marijuana caused any external event is not something I can establish. What I can say is that it changed my perception while I was already processing an enormous amount of symbolism, coincidence, stress, grief, relationships, and seriality.
That’s enough reason for me to stay away from it.
The Difference This Time
This week brought me back through nine years of my own history.
August 23.
Pastor Rick’s calling.
August 24.
My father Donal Megee’s death.
Nick going to Dollywood shortly before Dolly’s death.
Eli.
Reece.
Rice.
Paul Kammerer.
Paul Cameron creating images for the glass.
Paul Cameron watching images through the glass.
The Glass of Deception.
20/20 vision.
December 18.
My mother’s birthday.
AT&T.
T.
The Cross.
Citizens United.
Money and speech.
My father’s 45.8-pound brick of lead.
Donal.
Donald.
July 11.
Losing my career.
Suicide.
Ketamine.
Survival.
I don’t expect anybody reading this to conclude that these things prove the universe is operating according to the model developing inside my head.
That’s not what I’m asking.
I’m documenting how I experienced the sequence.
Kammerer spent part of his life trying to understand why coincidences appeared to cluster. More than a century later, I find myself asking a version of the same question.
But there is one difference in this particular story that doesn’t require seriality, numerology, holographic reality, or a metaphysical explanation.
I’m still alive.
And after what happened this week, I’m also reminded why I need to stay away from weed.
Whatever the patterns mean—or don’t mean—I want to be here to keep watching them unfold.