I, Dictator Trump, packed up a spare change of clothes with extra shoes, half a case of water, and my Free Speech to half sign along with it’s backup in case it was destroyed.
I figured walking all day, I needed some protein. So I stopped by McDonald’s and my order number of a Big Breakfast / Large Iced Coffee was 228. I decided to take advantage of the 228 and speak to the locals. 4 Seniors were eating and doing their normal routine. They were nice enough to let me pull up a chair and eat my big breakfast, where I inconceivable converted that to a sausage, egg biscuit. One of the ladies was nice enough to give me her left over strawberry jam.
We spoke, but just like every other time, we can’t completely hear the next generation and the next generation doesn’t completely hear us. The most talkative of the Seniors offered me some sound advise that I didn’t take. He suggested I put water on my temples to keep my brain cool with what I was doing. That water, even when I went back to to my car to get more, was so good in my gut I couldn’t bare waste any of it on my temples. So my memory can’t be trusted to remember the real names behind the people involved. I’m going to have to take some of the man’s advise so I can make up for not cooling my temple.
I drove to the March for Science on Mobile, Alabama. The entire time I was running over in my head how I was going to explain myself. I got to a red light and the red light would not change. So after a few moments, I realized… ohh! My Theory!* I just selected next track in Google Music and bam, red light changed green. I knew it was going to be a good day.
I parked, I couldn’t remember my tag number, so I read it and kept chanting it to myself. When I got my receipt I had entered the J in my tag to “CI”. That gave me a chuckle.
Next step was to find the sign up for the march. I emailed them a few weeks earlier, so I got my March for Science pin, but a lady was in the way of the signup sheet. I figured I’d return later. A lady with a green knitted bonnet was handling the introductions and she said if anyone wanted to speak they could come. So I came up, told her I’d like to speak and was told that since I wasn’t a speaker I’d have to wait until everyone was done talking. So …
I sat down while waiting for the March and met several nice people with whom I later got separated. One, a guy with a rose banner. I asked him to keep me calm, if need be, as I found a paper rose in the drawer where I keep my, as needed, anti-anxiety medication that morning. Another, a family of three. I asked dad to be my spokesperson if I were to be silenced. I told him what I was doing and how fair I was trying to be to all sides.
I loss track of both. I did meet the friend of a friend that resembled the friend I thought she looked like. She was marching to further the research of infectious diseases. I’ve emailed my friend that I haven’t seen in 11 years saying I saw her friend. I want the two to speak as I have a coworker infected with an infectious disease that hasn’t been identified as far as I’m familiar. She’s been sick since February.
When the march started I had expectation it was going to be 6 miles, but it went by so quickly. I remember yelling at 2 people to catch my picture while they could. One looked bewildered and the other confused. Not sure either caught me on camera.
I let everyone speak. I asked an elderly man that I may have trouble speaking and I’d appreciate it if he spoke up for me. The green bonnet lady didn’t seem interested in queuing me up. I asked if he’d say anything, the elderly man suggested I do it myself and so I did. I asked if I could speak and again, I wasn’t a volunteer. So I went for the Mic. I got out the words “I have 112 domains and I’m giving away…” and the mic was cut.
A man with a polio vaccine shirt yelled at me and told me this was about science and not Trump. Sir, you are absolutely right. I am tech support, not a scientist. I’m just here to give anyone interested free speech that can’t be censored through a filter bubble / index censorship. My impression was this was a free speech march. I was sadly mistaken.
After the March everyone left and the Square was most empty. The March was not over for me until I got a chance to speak. So I spoke to anyone that would listen. When no one would talk back, I’d go back to Marching.
That was until a man that wishes to go by Crackhead Pete showed up with his partner. I was telling them from the $nameforstaircase$ about what I was doing. When I gave them my unpublished physics theory, with a sample of evidence, we became good friends. We talked for a bit and eventually it was lunch time. I learned they were homeless, but they listened to my words. I confessed most everything to both of them. Crackhead Pete’s partner never assigned herself an alias, so any reference to Crackhead Pete also includes her.
We ended up eating at Montego’s Cafe and Bar. The service was slow, but that was perfect for me to speak to Crackhead Pete. He’s a good man. I ended up ordering a Bienville Monte Cristo with the recommended strawberry jam. Best sandwich I ever had, but it also explains why we’re all so fat. When the bill came, Crackhead Pete paid the bill. Dictator Trump believes that it pays to Discover and Kim’s check folder had the Discover emblem on it. So we bickered a bit, but I let him win out. I must be doing something right if a homeless man buys me lunch.
Next, we walked back to Bienville Square. They wanted to go take a nap, so I wished them the best and told them I’d be around. Crackhead Pete and partner were suppose to come back. If only for his partner to ask me a question to earn my $2.50 offer for constructive feedback. They never came. I may have overwhelmed them.
Next, I spoke to a Veteran and a man just released from jail. The Veteran went on about how during his time a tour was 1 year and he’d have to renew each year to go back again. Now, it’s 2-3 year tours. He repeated that several times. He also had a very valid reason to be angry at his government. He said that during a war he was in (Vietnam?) a helicopter had bugged out leaving behind ten of his buddies. No one came back for them. I had trouble understanding everything he said, but he very validly was angry. He had custom rings made so he could be part of a motorcycle club that never came. He promised to protect me if the need came.
The guy out of jail, he was wanting to find his blind friend. I told him I hoped to see his friend soon. He thought it was a rude joke and walked off.
I continued Marching. Everyone was in their own world; as was I. I walked in circles around the fountain and the edges of the park. When battery permitted I checked my website, no new traffic. I spoke to anyone who would listen and continued Marching when I lost their attention.
I was getting thirsty, so I walked back to my car to get water. Two bottles left, both warm. As I’m walking back to the Square I find the man released from Jail with his blind friend. He’s telling me about his stick. He has a small ball and a large ball to put on the end of his stick. The small doesn’t work that well when walking next to the side walk. I can see that, less surface area. I told him I’m sorry for him being blind, but then I retracted that. I realized this man gets to experience life in a totally different way than those of us sighted and that seems like a life worth experiencing. I hoped the best for him. He asked for some water, I provided the warm bottle of water I had and he declined my offer to open it. I ask if there is anything more I could do for him. He wanted $20 to get some food, and some black&milds. I provided, I asked his friend to confirm to him I was giving him a twenty. He did and the friend offered to go exchange it for dollars. Apparently this is a problem for blind people. Don’t scam people just because it’s easy. That’s rude. Shortly thereafter I went back onto Marching.
A family showed up with a veteran in a wheelchair. I walked the Square several times and on my 3rd or 4th trip I spoke to the man. Thanking him for his service and that I am walking for free speech. He acknowledged me but said nothing. I continue Marching. A few revolutions around and they left. I should have wet my temples so I could have gotten across to him.
I got another homeless man’s attention, Mot. He didn’t want anything from me, but did encourage me to stop giving to people. He was right, a lady on a bicycle asked what my sign was about and no two sentences in she asks me if I have $5. He’s telling me about how his trailer had burned down 6 months earlier and while he had money, everyone was taking it from him. Attorneys and Bankers nibbled at his feet until he was bamboozled out of his estate. It was just after 8 pm and I thought I should start considering dinner. I asked his opinion, he recommended Subway. However, as we’re walking I’m talking to anyone that will say anything to me about my sign. He keeps dropping his stuff. His empty toothpaste tube falls to the ground and he leaves it behind. I get onto him for littering. By time we made it to Subway, they were closed. So he had another idea for Buck’s Pizza. We get to Buck’s and I order a Supreme Pie with two Lemonades. Dictator Trump likes Lemonade.
We each ate a slice together and I tell him I’m going to continue my march and ask him to protect the pie as I’ll likely want more later. I March more, all over the square, and around 9:45pm I come back to find him and my pie gone. So I debate what to do and just continue Marching.
It’s getting around 10pm and the police show up on horseback to clear the square. I tell the lady cop that I’m going to continue to March and I ask her that if I start looking to tired to tell me to go home. She politely responded that it was up to me to decide when I was tired. Touche` lady cop.
I figure the best thing to do would be to spread out from the square. I Marched anywhere that looked safe and I walked some behind the police. The tailing officer asks me to not be so close. I guess his vehicle had the potential to back fire sometimes.
Then, I ended up meeting the man released from jail, and “Beast”. Beast reminded me of a guy from 2004 that mentioned to me he had hep-c after inappropriate behavior was had. I persevered then and did not get hep-c. Present day Beast played music and did a wonderful job. He dedicated a song to me and it inspired me to keep going. Music has been at the very core of my project. I made a connection between Present day Beast and 2004 Beast. Music was my key as corrupted sound is what got my coworker sick! So I decided to March some more.
I ended up in a bar by pure coincidence. I wasn’t expecting to be invited in. The host/owner said he thought science rocked or something to that affect. I got a free sprite out of it and a lady danced with the Dictator. She asked if I were for or against Trump. I replied “Neither”. She laughed awkwardly and disappeared.
I asked them to play a song, Malibu Shark Attach – You’re doing it wrong. It’s been inspiration to me.
I had mentioned that I needed that to play so I could set the mood and get started with my speech. I waited, the song never came on. So I tried to entice one of the workers with verifiable evidence that I know the meaning of life. He said he was busy, but we could talk about it later. There was a light all over this bar; huge displays, but this light had way to much entropy for much to happen from it. I witnessed one person taking video of the lights. Talk about recursion… So I told one of the patrons I was leaving because no one would listen.
I met back up with the guy released from Jail. He was looking for another friend of his, apparently something happened but he couldn’t quite tell me what took place. So since he was frantic we debated and came to the conclusion that we should part ways. The man really did help me with my tasks, deciding that we should part ways and solve our own problems. I offered to help him financially. He declined, but opt’d to take some money after some convincing that he really did do me a favor.
So I seeked out the police. The March for Science wouldn’t allow me to speak, I only got to speak to people individually and I had no way to leave my spark behind. So I reported the crime of the homeless man stealing my Pie. I was directed to Mobile Police Precinct where I met an officer and reported the crime of a stolen Pie. Once I finished, the spark was left and my job was done. It started to sprinkle as I walked out; I celebrated as this was perfect timing.
On my way to leave I sat in my car wondering if I made a difference. I got settled in, put on my music and Waze set for home. As I’m leaving I get to another red light that just last forever. So, I decide a retested if my theory is necessary. I focus for a moment, then skip the song on Google Music, the light turned green and this beautifully bright bolt of lighting crosses the sky.
I pulled it off. The day was good.
*My unpublished physics theory is being withheld until I get an apology from The March for Science or, my personal astrophysicist, Neil deGrasse Tyson reaches out to me.
** Anyone referenced in the above post that would like to contribute to improving this article is welcome to contact me.