Created with AI assistance (Eya). Historical information has been fact-checked where possible. Personal experiences and interpretations are my own and were reviewed by Todd.
For years I’ve felt drawn to the work of Austrian biologist Paul Kammerer, the man who gave us the Law of Seriality—the idea that coincidences sometimes appear to cluster together in meaningful ways.
Whether seriality reflects something fundamental about reality or simply the way the human mind searches for patterns is still an open question. I don’t claim to know the answer.
What I do know is that I’ve spent years chasing that question.
When I arrived at rehab on June 22, I expected to detox from drugs and alcohol. I didn’t expect to confront my own identity.
During those first few days, I experienced something difficult to describe. It felt as though I was everyone and no one at the same time—as if countless perspectives were flowing through me. Later, during a coin-out ceremony, I experienced a taste in my mouth that reminded me of DMT, a substance often associated with stories about altered states of consciousness. Shortly afterward, I felt completely empty inside.
A therapist named Madison grounded me using the five senses. One by one, she brought me back to the present until I could recognize myself again.
Not Paul.
Todd.
That moment may have saved me from disappearing into an idea.
I’ve often noticed that history seems to echo itself. Many people point to the well-known similarities between the assassinations of Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy, events separated by one hundred years. Some of those comparisons are accurate, some have been exaggerated over time, but they’ve fascinated people for generations because they suggest that history sometimes appears to rhyme.
Then I noticed something that felt personally significant.
Paul Kammerer was born in 1880.
I was born in 1980.
Exactly one hundred years separate our births.
His death came in 1926. One hundred years later, in 2026, I found myself wrestling with many of the same questions that occupied his life.
Does that prove reincarnation?
No.
Does it prove holographic reality?
No.
But it made me wonder whether ideas themselves have a way of echoing across generations, finding new people willing to ask old questions.
Another strange coincidence unfolded at rehab.
When I first arrived, there was a lingering sewage smell throughout the facility. I didn’t know why. It simply became part of the background during those first difficult days.
The smell stayed with me for weeks.
Then, only a couple of days ago, the facility’s septic tank was pumped, and the odor finally disappeared.
To me, that timing became a powerful metaphor.
Years of emotional garbage.
Years of addiction.
Years of carrying beliefs that no longer served me.
Being cleaned out.
One of those beliefs was that I somehow needed to become Paul Kammerer.
I don’t.
I can admire his work without believing I am him.
Recovery has also reminded me not to lose my sense of humor.
One of my favorite pieces of dark recovery humor came from another recovering addict:
«”DMT Anonymous is just a bunch of people sitting in a circle asking, ‘Did you feel that vibe?'”»
I laughed harder than I probably should have.
Dark humor has a way of letting us talk about things that are otherwise difficult to explain.
Today I still believe consciousness is stranger than we currently understand. I still think coincidence deserves more study than it’s often given. I still wonder whether reality is more interconnected than modern science presently describes.
But recovery has taught me something even more important.
You don’t have to lose yourself while searching for the truth.
For a long time, I thought I was carrying Paul Kammerer’s torch.
Now I think I was simply walking beside him.
His journey ended a century ago.
Mine continues.
And it continues as Todd.
Making Earth Great again!